I quit a client project after he refused to pay my invoices. A few months later, he got in touch out of the blue. This is exact email:
Client: Hey, I’m taking some eHow classes in all that s*** you were charging me for so I can do it myself. The only thing I need to know is if you would happen to have a spare copy of this “Adobe’s Creative’s Suites” that I could use….??? :) ;)
Client: I can’t see Pad If, No InDesign.
At first, I thought English might have not been this client’s native language, so I responded the best I could without being offensive.
Me: I’m sorry, how would you need the files? InDesign isn’t required for anything I send you.
Client: All I’ve…
|—||Client in a meeting to discuss a new website (via clientsfromhell)|
Client: “Sorry to cancel at the last minute, but we felt your contract was just… too legal.”
Me: “Well, I should hope so… what exactly was the problem?”
Client: “I mean it’s not very flexible - you ask for payment on such and such a date with this 5% monthly penalty if we don’t make it… it’s all just too legal.”
Me: I sent you the completed website link a week ago and haven’t heard back. Is everything okay?
Client: It’s too plain. The colours and layout and logo - can you redo it?
Me: Sorry, but no. You approved the wireframe and the design. The logo was provided by you. I’ll happily change the…
I was booked to make a website for a client. For three months, he repeatedly asked me how fast I can do it. I always replied:
Me: It takes about three weeks, but you must sign the contract first.
After three months, he sent an email:
Client: Ok, start now.
So I started, but reminded…
[From an unsolicited e-mail looking for a free illustrator]"Take this letter very seriously. Imagine that George Lucas or Todd McFarlain just emailed you and you now have the chance to collaborate with one of the most gifted artists of all time. Seriously . Think about that. You could be…
Client: Do you animate bible stories?
Me: We don’t currently, but we can animate anything you like. What do you have in mind?
Client: Well how much is it to animate the bible?
Me: Well it depends on what stories from the bible you want. The duration of the animation, how many characters,…